This season on the Real Housewives of New York City...

This season of the RHONY has been pretty darn good. The buzz on the interwebs is that the reunion show gets derailed with insanity and Andy Cohen (VP of programming at Bravo and host of the aftershows/reunion shows) loses his bananas with the ladies.
 

Why has this season been great? Well, for one, the cloak of mystery surrounding Sonja Morgan has come off, and we're left with a woman who is nothing short of an embarrassment to all those who know her. I mean, she flashes her underwear (when she deigns to wear any), fruitlessly tries to flirt with any man - no matter how old or decrepit - in an attempt to live better again by marrying into money, is exposed as being dead broke (and in the hole for like $17mm) and grasping at the last vestiges of her former life as the wife of a descendant of JP Morgan and John Adams, keeps the tags on all her clothes, name drops the Churchills (lol, yeah like Winston and stuff), hosts poorly themed parties in the Cipriani vault, and last but certainly not least, COOKS ALL HER FOOD IN A TOASTER OVEN.  

Every week I tune into Bravo for the shenanigans. And every week, it ends and I'm a little dumber than when it started. And consistently each week, Husband turns to me and says, "If you were given the opportunity to murder one of the RHONY, which one would you execute?" This question ALWAYS stymies me. No, not because it's insane but because I find it a really difficult question to answer. See, the thing about these women is that I find them all abhorrent in their own special ways. I certainly cannot empathize with any of them and I hate them all in equal measure. So, it's a tough question. But I usually end up saying "Alex McCord" each time.

Guess which one is Alex? Where are everyone's pants?

What's so special about McCord? Well she's the biggest social climber and her attempts at climbing are foiled by (1) her extremely unfortunate looks; (2) the fact that she lives in Brooklyn; (3) the fact that she is not wealthy; (4) the fact that her husband is a freak; (5) the fact that she herself is a freak; (6) the fact that she is boring; (7) the fact that she apparently went to Northwestern and didn't graduate (this probably doesn't hurt her social climbing but it I think it puts her attempts to act smarter than the rest of the ladies in some context); and (8) the fact that she breaks out in hives during confrontations. After the first season of RHONY aired, I ran into McCord on the subway in Soho where she was getting into the car and trying to hide behind a newspaper. See, that's the thing about Alex - she can't just own the fact that she is too poor to hire a Towncar to transport her around the city and wear her Metrocard like a badge of honor.

Husband doesn't even need to think about it. "The Countess." And then, "If I could pick another, that Kelly woman." Haha. Sorry but you can't kill two, just one. See, I can't hate on The Countess. For one, WE ALL CALL HER THE COUNTESS. I mean, we've bought into her title. No one calls her LuAnn. And the reason I don't get mad about her fakery in the same way as Alex's is because she wears it so much better! Like the other RHONY, she is not wealthy ever since The Count left her for an African princess, but that hasn't stopped her from pretending. And she just does it well. So all in all, I can't hate her. And the BEST moments from the season were when LuAnn and Alex faced off (twice!!) and each time LuAnn ran circles around the girl. LuAnn was irrational and illogical but she said her outlandish statements with such supercilious condescension like she was talking to some poop on her shoe that IT WORKED. And I think we can all learn a lesson in how to be a superior bully from those exchanges, which is an important skill to have.

Luann: You came to me in your Herman Munster shoes…

Alex: They were Louis Vuitton shoes.

Luann: Well, even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes.

And Husband has a longstanding hatred of Kelly because she's long been portrayed as the dumb one (haha) on the show. And, well, he just doesn't like dumb people. I frankly now love Kelly because of her handling of Alex in Morocco during the Luann v. Alex showdown:

"You have to come down in a normal way. You can’t just come storming down. It doesn’t look authentic. It looks weird. Alex, it looks weird. It looks weird. That was weird. No, it looks weird, Alex. It doesn’t look normal. Come on. We enter. It’s weird. It’s inauthentic.” Kelly pretty much had some of the best quotes this season.

Which RHONY would you vote to be given a lethal injection?